So, I’m sitting in an apartment, just on the other side of the Hollywood Hills, in Los Angeles, California thinking about how blessed I really am! The past year of my life has been some of the most insane ups and downs I’ve ever faced, yet in the middle of uncertainty, I feel so loved and encouraged! In spite of “hard times,” I’ve had
some unbelievable opportunities this year, accompanied by a group of amazing friends and family that continually give me overwhelming support. It’s funny how I get so discouraged along this journey, and just feel like throwing in the towel… I have felt, so many times, like taking a new path, thinking it may be easier.
Right now, I am facing one of the biggest decisions of my life. I mean, a really big decision that affects everything, my family, my finances, my career, EVERYTHING! I’ll admit it… I’m scared to death! I’ve been hanging in limbo over this for weeks now but, tonight, as I sit here thinking and praying, I believe I feel a sort of clarity inside. Is this a “good” thing, or the “right” thing? My heart wants so many things. I’m so tired of disappointments, and what I feel like are “set-backs!” I’m ready for a breakthrough! Is my breakthrough hinged on this decision? What if I make the wrong decision? GOD, help me hear You clearly!
I feel like I’ve been looking down several possible paths, and unable to even force a step in any direction. I’ve felt stuck, like I was being held at bay for some unknown reason. Talk about frustrating! I have cried, and yelled, and pleaded, and flat out laughed at myself for acting like a psychopath at times! And let’s not even talk about my “stress-eating,” GOOD GRIEF! Can you say, “This little piggy went to the market?” Bah!
Decisions, decisions, decisions… Whatever shall I do? Sometimes, revelation and clarity come in at the last minute, completely oblivious that you have been falling apart at the seams. Sometimes, our answer only comes when we’ve exhausted every thought, prayer, idea, question, and conversation. There’s one thing I know… When we’ve spent weeks, months, or even years searching, God will be faithful to show us the right path. For me, that path may be just a step away. I may even make a choice only to find myself in “the waiting…” AGAIN! Either way, I will walk as long as I can.
This is what it means to follow a dream… Dare to have a vision and NEVER stop looking at it, and reaching for it! A good friend once said to me, “Trust the desires God has placed in your heart. You either chase dreams or miss dreams.” My question is, “What are you going to do?” I’m chasing mine!